Moving to Berlin in the summer of 2022 was a major transition. A new country where I barely knew anyone. A new bureaucratic system. A new life out of university, working full time as an artist. I was excited about all the possibilities ahead of me, but also suffering from a long-term depressive episode, not helped by the drastic changes that come with establishing a new life. Everything was overwhelming and overstimulating, and I needed a project to help me to feel like I was moving somewhere.

In an effort towards optimism, I decided to paint a series of self-portraits, one for each month of 2023. Every month’s portrait became a record of my perception of the month as well as myself. And, I hoped that overall, the visual transition would be able to trace my progress over the year towards becoming more confident and content with my life in Berlin. These portraits are painted in a variety of experimental styles, each with its own influences and restrictions, and though they range in complexity they display progression towards self-acceptance.

Despite all their implied vanity, which often made me uncomfortable, these self-portraits were my challenge to spend time with myself in order to show up more passionately for in my life and work. And, though I am not sure I will take up a series like this again, there is no doubt that I will paint future self-portraits as a record of my life and experiences as I age.